Youth and Maturity

It occurred to me during a trying day at work that equanimity I'm trying to achieve at work and in life may have a price. I was talking to one of the senior docs here and she said something about how anger is never appropriate at work, which I think I agree with. I can't think of an example where anger would help the situation. But, she said she's learned that she has to show more anger at home, that her husband and her kids need to know when she's upset. This ability to keep such a tight lid on her emotions has helped her in the professional setting but it sounds like it was counter-productive at home.

I have, I'm sorry to say, been short tempered at work. But I'm also constantly thinking/talking about how to improve the care we deliver. I made my umpteenth suggestion and my chief said, that's a good thought Sei, but I'm older and I've been beaten down, and I don't have the energy to keep fighting these battles.

I guess my point is that the energy and fire and enthusiasm and we associate with youth also comes with anger. And the equanimity that comes with maturity also comes with passivity and being "beaten down."

On a separate note, someone I met for the first time a couple of weeks ago described me as "nice, but everytime he talked, it's like he's making a speech."