Ten Least Favorite Movies: A Defense
From reading the comments to my below post, I sense an assumption being made that I dislike movies solely because other people (including critics) like them. Nothing could be further from the truth. I value the function of critics highly -- because I think that it's only through active criticism that the arts can move forward. Once something becomes above criticism, it becomes ossified in its own self-congratulations.
So, to rebut the charge that I'm just being a contrarian, I'll give specific reasons why I chose each movie below.
1-3. There's nothing good about these movies, other than the faint glow of nostalgia. The dialogue is laughably bad, the plots are boring and nonsensical and the characters don't even merit being called one-dimensional. That doesn't distinguish the three new Star Wars movies from, say, "Planet of the Apes" (the new one) or "Batman and Robin," but what shoots them to the top of my list is that they also make me question the sense of overwhelming wonder I felt as a child in watching "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back." It's kind of like when I try to listen to Clint Black's first album now -- I just can't erase the stain of "I Raq and Roll."
4-5. Both of these movies hide a profound anti-humanism underneath their hip exteriors, which I think is offensive. The two examples I can remember right now are both from "Pulp Fiction" -- the overdose scene and the scene where a person is shot in the face in a way that's meant to be taken as a joke. You might think I'm being oversensitive, which, in reply, I quote Matthew Arnold: "To the many who think that spirituality, and sweetness, and light, are all moonshine, this will not appear to matter much; but with us, who value them, and who think that we have traced much of our present discomfort to the want of them, it weighs a great deal."
6. I sympathized with the Annette Benning character all through the movie -- I think she'd agree with me that a plastic bag blowing around says nothing profound about American life.
7. This movie plays into our current scourge of anti-intellectualism. If a simple janitor can look at an impossible mathematical proof and figure it out on the spot -- and cause a professor who's been studying it his whole life to plead at his feet for knowledge -- there's no reason to dedicate one's life to actual learning, which, unfortunately, is hard work.
8. K-9. Jim Belushi and a dog. Only watched about a half hour.
9. "Scenes from a Mall" would be much higher up on this list, except for a brilliant scene involving a mall movie theater, a reconciling couple and "Salaam Bombay."
10. I actually picked this one because the name is so much cooler than the movie. It just rolls off the tongue. From what I remember of the movie, it was a boring story about a violinmaker. I should probably have picked "Dungeons and Dragons" for this spot, which I saw with my brother in the Mall of America, where we were stranded on Christmas Eve due to the incompetence of Northwest Airlines.
I'd like to see some of the critical commenters post some of their least favorite movies, by the way.
So, to rebut the charge that I'm just being a contrarian, I'll give specific reasons why I chose each movie below.
1-3. There's nothing good about these movies, other than the faint glow of nostalgia. The dialogue is laughably bad, the plots are boring and nonsensical and the characters don't even merit being called one-dimensional. That doesn't distinguish the three new Star Wars movies from, say, "Planet of the Apes" (the new one) or "Batman and Robin," but what shoots them to the top of my list is that they also make me question the sense of overwhelming wonder I felt as a child in watching "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back." It's kind of like when I try to listen to Clint Black's first album now -- I just can't erase the stain of "I Raq and Roll."
4-5. Both of these movies hide a profound anti-humanism underneath their hip exteriors, which I think is offensive. The two examples I can remember right now are both from "Pulp Fiction" -- the overdose scene and the scene where a person is shot in the face in a way that's meant to be taken as a joke. You might think I'm being oversensitive, which, in reply, I quote Matthew Arnold: "To the many who think that spirituality, and sweetness, and light, are all moonshine, this will not appear to matter much; but with us, who value them, and who think that we have traced much of our present discomfort to the want of them, it weighs a great deal."
6. I sympathized with the Annette Benning character all through the movie -- I think she'd agree with me that a plastic bag blowing around says nothing profound about American life.
7. This movie plays into our current scourge of anti-intellectualism. If a simple janitor can look at an impossible mathematical proof and figure it out on the spot -- and cause a professor who's been studying it his whole life to plead at his feet for knowledge -- there's no reason to dedicate one's life to actual learning, which, unfortunately, is hard work.
8. K-9. Jim Belushi and a dog. Only watched about a half hour.
9. "Scenes from a Mall" would be much higher up on this list, except for a brilliant scene involving a mall movie theater, a reconciling couple and "Salaam Bombay."
10. I actually picked this one because the name is so much cooler than the movie. It just rolls off the tongue. From what I remember of the movie, it was a boring story about a violinmaker. I should probably have picked "Dungeons and Dragons" for this spot, which I saw with my brother in the Mall of America, where we were stranded on Christmas Eve due to the incompetence of Northwest Airlines.
I'd like to see some of the critical commenters post some of their least favorite movies, by the way.
Comments
Post a Comment