Send In The Clowns

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Are we now going to start hearing about how the whacko right has been correct all along: a mere three weeks, and you too can be "cured" of being gay.

I mean, who knew that's all it took--and here there's been this raging debate and discrimination going on all this time, and all it took to cure such a plague on society is three weeks of counseling. Oh, pardon, "intensive" counseling.

"He is completely heterosexual," [Rev. Tim] Ralph [of Larkspur] said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Oh, ah, I see. It's just that "acting out" thing. Completely hetero, just acting out on that gay thing was a little hiccough. Good to hear, good to hear. So, perhaps Rev. Ted is different: he's a completely hetero gay, with acting out issues, as opposed to your really gay gays. Which is too bad, because that means we'll still have that problem with the really gay gays, I guess.

Now, about that meth habit, Rev. Ted...